The week before SBL

It's the week before Spencer Bell Legacy show in Madison ,WI.For those not familiar with Spencer Bell you can check out this link www.spencerbellmemorial.ning.com .Its impossible to describe the energy right now but I will try.The energy is almost magical with everyone people are in great spirits as we come together to celebrate Spencer's music ,legacy that lives on but most importantly raise money for adrenal cancer .
Some of us will travel from far corners this week ,others will be watching via the World Wide Web.One thing is for sure there are no words that can accurately describe this man or his music. One thing will also continue to be true long after the last glass has been raised in toast to gratitude.We must find a cure for adrenal cancer.

A three year journey has come to an end!!!!

 When Josh and I began our breastfeeding journey 3 years ago I never imagined I would nurse for so long but as time passed and amidst pressure from various people to wean him I stood my ground.In my heart I knew that he needed his mama's milk.Last week I realized my milk was gone I am not sure why I stopped producing maybe it was simply my body's way of saying I am done but I knew that the time had come to wean Josh.I have learned a few things about breastfeeding and myself along the way:
1)Don't let anyone push you around when it comes to you and your baby's nursing relationship~let your body and heart and little one tell you when the journey is over.
2)Persevere and find support~for me that was wonderful friends including my best friend who was my doula during labor and helped me so much in the days following Josh's birth.
3)Ignore the stares~I am sure I got a lot of strange looks when I nursed in public because I am not a small chested girl but I kept going even had women come up and say good for you at a fair one time.
4)And Finally Cherish the Journey~Josh started preschool a few weeks ago and I realized that he is already growing up so quickly.Cherish the snuggles and nursing sessions.
5)Don't Judge others when it comes to nursing ~I did I feel so bad the thing I have come to know is not everyone can nurse  don't judge them if you don't know why they can't.
Joshua,
Thank you for being my buddy on this amazing nursing journey and for letting me have the experience I always wanted.I love you Mommy

The day I met Sarah Palin

The day I met my political hero was an amazing day.I convinced Lindsay to go see Sarah Palin with me.We had to get her first book so we could get it signed to be at the event.The whole trip was interesting.We avoided getting a ticket cause we got stopped and the cop  let us off when we told him we were on our way to see Sarah Palin.We dropped the girls off with my parents then went to get in line while we didn't  get our books signed Sarah came thru the line with Trig and we did get to talk with her for a few short minutes.I love her views I wish we had someone like her in office.

Thank You Spencer

6 years ago tomorrow a brilliant young man lost a battle he shouldn't have.So many  words I can think of but yet the only one that seems to fit was brilliant.How can  one life that you never met affect you so greatly ?The answer is simple its because of a legacy.A small group of artists ,family and friends dedicated to keeping music alive .
I quit writing and making music for a while.So deep in grief from the loss of my beloved grandma it seemed the music had died in me.Then I found the music of Spencer Bell.
Some are appalled by colorful language but I simply answer that was Spencer at his finest.He never held back,he never censored himself and he never allowed others to place limits on who he was or what he could be.
Spencer is the first artist that has influenced me as an artist to really the person's music.I heard Ben Graupner mention one time in an interview how he studied music and I didn't realize how I was doing that until I finished Mouthless Clown recently.
Quite simply I found myself as an artist that  day.To the artist and his family and friends  thank you for keeping his music alive so that others like myself pursuing my passion can study him.
So I simply say Thank You Spencer.

Texas Rose, a short love story

Our story was no different.A tale of love looked down upon.We didn't care.We broke boundaries we shared kisses that hot Texas summer when the sun beat down.I was the owner of a huge cattle ranch and he was a traveling soul seeker with a guitar in hand.He did odd jobs to get himself from place to place but mostly he just wandered looking for work.He said he had inquired about work at the one gas station and they told him to go see Rose at Double M ranch.He had hitched a ride from town in the back of Old Man Jenkins beat down 54 Chevy.

  He definitely stole my breath the minute he came strolling up my broken sidewalk clutching his guitar case with just a knapsack flung over his shoulder.A ruggedly handsome chap in his 20's,it looked like he had not bathed in weeks.It was hard to tell his exact skin tone because of all the dirt.
He knocked quietly and asked in such a southern way if he could speak to Rose. When I quietly mentioned you are looking at her he seemed to stiffen a bit.I held out my hand to shake it and was greeted by a hearty handshake.He said my name is Paul and I heard you are in need of a ranch hand.
I can do anything but rounding up cattle is my speciality.Most men were afraid to come seeking work being thrown off by the fact the owner was a woman.I had inherited the ranch where I ran 2000 head of cattle  from my father.I had always known hard work accomplishing any task just about as well as any man.I had been married many many years ago to a ranch hand that had come to work on papa's land.Ours was a whirlwind courtship we married  after knowing each other just 2 months.Papa approved and that was all that mattered. A month later and barely 18 I found myself pregnant.Nine months later I gave birth to the most precious baby girl we named Miranda but like many children she got sick and died while still very young.My heart forever broken by the fact that my firstborn lay in a childhood grave.The kindly doctor had worned us that another pregnancy could kill me so I made a heartwrenching decision to have a tubal ligation. Like many other young men his age my hubby was soon drafted for the war.Duty to his country called and just when I thought there would be a happy ending after months of being apart, that man you never want to visit did.He brought a flag and condolenses.My heart again shattered and I vowed never to open my heart again because just a month before I had lost my daddy .No I would run the ranch it would be my love.The horses and cattle and dust would be my friend. That is until one day when Paul appeared.
   Rust colored curls framed his handsome face,he only stood 5'10'' or so.His eyes a gorgeous hazel and my heart couldn't think I wonder if somewhere a mama is aching to know where her boy is.
When I asked him how old he was he said 24 ma'am but I am a real hard worker I will prove it.
"Do you have a place to stay?" I inquired
"No ma'am " came a solemn answer
"Will you please stop calling me ma'am make me feel as if I am a heap older than 40"
"Please call me Rose"
"You can stay in the extra room right there ,I think  I might have some clothes left by the last hand I think will fit ,you must be tired from your travels I will run you a bath."
"Thank you Rose"
That even he came alive after a bath I could tell how handsome he was ,I couldn't help but think why hadn't some beautiful girl caught his attention. As we sat around the outdoor fire I listened to him strum his guitar and then he pulled a harmonica out of his pocket.Reminded me of the way my Peter used to play.We talked for hours  and realized how much we had in common.I'll never forget the night he kissed me under the beautiful Texan night sky.I had wished upon a star that somehow my heart could learn to love a young cowboy.Seems my dreams were coming true.
That fateful day came a war had started and with it the dreaded draft.He was young and strong and was quickly picked to go .My heart sank for I knew how he would come back to me but to my surprise he did return.His mind greatly changed from the trauma he saw and holding a deep dark secret.He had met a young nurse ,she had stolen his heart  and he needed to go.They had a baby on the way and he intended to make himself an honest man."I am sorry Rose it hurts me as much as it hurts you but I am obligated now,besides people would not approve of our age difference."
"Who the hell gives a damn Paul it never seemed to matter before why do you care what people think?"
"I figured out what I want to do with my life  and I been talking to people.I want to follow my dream of being a singer,songwriter,actor and I am moving out to California to have a shot at my dream"
"We both know that I would be given that look if I showed up with a much older woman at my side"
"Don't hold me back just let me go please Rose I am beggin let me go".
My heart screamed no and just as everybody important I had ever loved Paul was now gone it seemed I was destined to run this ranch and die an old maid."He sang as he walked down the driveway disappearing into the hot dusky fall. "You'll always be my Texas Rose"
That night I lay quietly sobbing in the bed I had shared with Paul so many times.I had dreamed of my young soldier coming home and of us quietly being wed down at the courthouse in town now that dream would be locked away in a vault in my heart.My heart had been ripped and stolen away by some young war nurse no doubt beautiful and seeking her own adventures.My heart knew what no one else could tell me.That Paul had been mine and that the war had stolen him from me by duty and obligation I knew he didn't really love the nurse he was just doing what he thought was right.His heart would never truely be happy because he had such a wandering soul never happy in one place.
His heart would forever belong to his Texas Rose.

Fan Girl Funnies not so much

So I am sick of pretending and going thru a little drama.I love being a fan of Pink Fuzzy Animals but I don't like the drama that comes with it.I love all the members even though they are going thru changes and I am not really sure who is in and who is out at this point I feel its important to support.With that said I didn't appreciate the stuff I have endured this week.Was it really necessary to call me and gloat just because a person got followed by a band member on Twitter.Not so much I appreciate the fact that your happy but I am done with games .If they could only see what you are really made of.And because I decided to block you because I don't need toxic people that pretend to be my friends I got blocked out of a fan group for a band member not only me but two of my close friends just because you administrate a group doesn't give you the power to kick them out because of a personal problem with them.Kinda stupid and childish and very junior high.So now I am putting it to bed.You are a bully and I am sorry it took me so freaking long to figure that one out.We aren't friends we never can be.
I am done with the matter .I am pretty certain the band would be disgusted to learn fans had been bullied.
I even let you walk over me and stopped making music music is my passion and has been my life for as long as I can remember.
I won't stop.I love what I do I love the Pink Fuzzy Animals but I don't require love and acceptance from band members to be happy.Happiness in the best form is one of my children giving me a hug or sharing what they learned in school.Or hearing those precious sleepy giggles from my sweet toddler.
I will cherish a few things we shared in our convos but I will not cherish the way you hurt me.It wasn't worth it.Goodbye good riddance night night.

Keep It In The Pants

Standing in line to get A marriage license Couple in front say He's 65 she's 18 All I can think is ew He should have kept it in his pants The other day I think I Met this crazy Dino boy Who seduced this stalker fan All I can say is Keep it in your pants Keep it in your pants Keep it in your pants Keep it in your pants unless your doing the baby dance Just keep it in your pants At 21 so hot and heavy Thought I knew the world Mama told us we'd  go to hell Said keep it in your pants If she pissed you off and You hit her in turn Gonna end up in the pokey Should have kept it in your pants When your in a parking lot And your babe looks juicy and hot Then you see a cop Better keep it in your pants Keep it in your pants Keep it in your pants Unless your doing a baby dance Just Keep it in your pants If your a roadie queen And you say you got a plan To bang everyone in the band Just keep it in the pants Keep it in the pants Mama told me Better keep it in your pants